guitar bedspread

guitar bedspread

Women scoring system

In the world of romance, one single rule: make the wife happy.

Do something you love and getting points. Doing something that you do not like and subtract points. You do not get points for doing something she expects. Sorry, it how to play the game is a guide to the points system …

Simple Tasks
You make your bed ………………………………………. …..+ 1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows ………. 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets ……………………- 1
You leave the toilet seat …………………………………- 5
Replace the toilet paper roll when ………………. empty 0
When the roll of toilet paper is sterile, it calls for a Kleenex ……..-
When the Kleenex runs out shuffle slowly to the next bathroom ..- 2
You buy your pantliners Extra Light Cool spring winged …….+ 5
But back to beer …………………………………….. . . 5 .-
You see a suspicious noise at night ……………………… 0
You see a suspicious noise and it is nothing ………………. 0
You see a suspicious noise and it something …………….+ 5
hit with an iron six ……………………………….+ 10
Is your father ……………………………………… .. . …- October

His physical
You develop a sensitive stomach ………..- 15
You develop a sensitive stomach and exercise to get rid of him … 10
You develop a sensitive stomach, and baggy jeans pants used loosely and Hawaiian shirts ……….- 5

Funding
You spend a lot of money on something practical …………- 5
Something you can not use ……………….- 10
For example, a model airplane engine …………..- 20
And she has a small camera for her birthday 40 ………….-

Conduct
You've lost the instructions of a 4 -…………..-
You've lost the instructions and end up losing …………..- 10
You just lost in a bad part of City ……..- 15
You are lost in a bad part of town and meet people up close and personal ………- 25
You know ………- 60

The Big Question
She asks: "Do I look fat ?"……………..- 5
(Questions delicate begins with a deficit)
You hesitate to answer …………- 10
You answer: "Where ?"………..- 35

Communication
When wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression …… 0
When she wants to talk, listen, for more than 30 minutes ……….+ 5
You listen for more than 30 min. watch television without ……..+ 10
He realizes, because asleep ………….- 20

Social Commitments
You stay by her side throughout the game ………. 0
You stay by her side for a moment then let the cat with a drinking buddy college ……..- 2
Named Tiffany ………………..- 4
Tiffany is a dancer ……………….- 6
Tiffany implants has ……………….- 8
When mixing, you hold the hand of his partner and love the look on his ………..+ 1
When mixing, the presented as "the old ball and chain" and pat on the rump ……….- 5
When your mate points toward a hot wife to the future and asked if she thinks she is interesting, you say: "Yes, but not as attractive as you one "…………….+
When your mate points to a woman and asked her if she thinks she is interesting, you say: "Yes, but it is lousy in bed June "……-
This woman is his sister ………………..- 90
You have a baby, and it ……………. 0
You have more of some and do the tango with a poodle ………- 2
You have a lot of drinks, vaguely remember that fingerprints ….- 18

Saturday afternoon
You go to the mall and …………………+ 3
You go to the mall, his fall at the entrance, then leave the car ………………..+ 4
You go to the mall, his fall to the entrance then drive to a sports bar ……………….- 2
You spend the day shopping for furniture and pretend like ….+ 3
You spend the day shopping for furniture, and a nap in the section …. 0
You spend the day in a wholesale club, buying in bulk ………….+ 3
More of the same chips and beer …………..- 6
You tackle a large project home, like painting the den …………+ 15
W 16 floor finish ………………….+
O son of the basement ………………..+ 17
Or adding a second floor …………….+ 18
Or create a Nerf Ball hoop over the trash Bathroom …….- 6
And you tickled pink about 15 …………………-
You visit relatives ………………… 0
You visit her parents and make conversation …………..+ 3
You visit her parents and absent look on television ……..- 3
And television is off ……………………- 6
You spend the afternoon watching college football in his underwear ………..- 6
And do not even …………..- College 10
And no underwear ………………..- 15

Your Birthday
Take her to dinner ……………….. 0
You go to dinner, and not a ……………+ a sports bar
Well, it's a sports bar …………………….- 2
That's all you can eat night ………………..- 3
This is a sports bar, which is all you can eat night, and his face is painted the colors of your favorite team …….- 10
You go to a nice restaurant, and hire an expensive guitar ………+ 3
You go to a good restaurant, hire a guitar player and get up and sing ………………………..+ 4
If you stink ………………………..+ 2
If there are no bad ……………………+ 5
You get up and sing a song by Barry Manilow, and is accompanied by much applause ………..- 2
You give a gift …………………… 0
You give a gift and a small device ………….- October
You offer a gift and not a small device ………..+ 1
You give a gift, and it is not chocolate ………………+ 2
You give a gift that bears fruit for 30 months ……….+
Wait until the last minute and buy her a gift ……..- 10 days
With credit card ……………- 30
And everything you buy is two sizes over 40 ……….-

Account
You completely forgotten his birthday 20 …………………..-
You forgot your birthday …………………- 30
You forget to meet him at the bus station 45 ………..-
What Newark, New Jersey 50 ……………….-
And the rain dissolves ………….- leg cast 60

A night with children
Dating a friend ………………………- 5
And the friend is married ……………….- 4
Or terribly alone ………………..- 7
And Mustangs drove 10 ………………..-
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED )……………- 15
You have a couple of beers ……………..- 9
And touching Miss an hour is 12 ……………..-
Did you miss curfew an hour and you have not called ………………..- 20
You get home at 3:00 ………………..- 30
You will return at 3am the smell of cheap alcohol and cigarettes ………..- 40
And do not wear slacks ………………….- 50
Is this a tattoo ??……………..- 200

Your night
You stay at home during she goes out with her friend at work annoying ……………….+ 5
She goes out with her friends tedious work, and she comes home late ……………..+ 10
You wait up to 15 …………………..+
She leaves, comes home late and drunk, and slept ……….+ 20

A night at home
You watch TV together …………….. 0
You rent a movie ……………+ 2
You rent a movie and it is the sense and sensibility ……………….+ 3
It's common sense and sensibility and you stay awake for 5 ………….+
It's Sense and Sensibility and sleep …………………..- 1
Arises and the sensitivity and falling asleep and drooling ………….- 2

An evening
You take a movie ……………………+ 2
You take the film as ……………….+ 4
You take a movie you hate ……………….+ 6
You take a movie you like ……………..- 2
This is called …………………..- DeathCop March 3
What are the features cyborgs having sex ………………- 9
You lied and said it was a foreign film for orphans ………..- 15

Flores
You buy her flowers when you expect …………………… 0
You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for fun to ……..+ 20
You give wildflowers actually took the same 30 ……….+
And ………………………………- contracts Lyme disease 25

About the Author

Samson Akpaka is a humour writer and editor of Afrowall, http://www.afrowall.com.

For Whom The Bell Tolls -Metallica (COVER)